Today I'm walking down Halsted when a guy in a blue polo stops me.

Guy in Blue Polo: Do you have a minute for the environment?
Me: No.
GIBP: You don't care about the trees?
Me: (considering for a second) Nope.

The entire transaction inspired me to start a new kind of game hunting. Rather than shooting birds and shit, we're just going to shoot trees. The best part is, they're easier to shoot than animals. You know...not as quick.

I really think this is going to catch on.